"If the meal is expensive, give 150,000 won" vs. "Why should I worry about meal costs?" In the 80,000-won wedding meal era, guests feel the pressure.

Wedding venue meal costs in Seoul rise 3.9% in a year
Debate over the appropriate amount for wedding gifts
Concerns that the spirit of celebration and mutual aid is fading

As the peak autumn wedding season arrives, debate has once again flared over how much to give as a wedding gift. With meal costs at wedding venues in Seoul reaching 80,000 won per person, some argue that guests should give at least 100,000 to 150,000 won, while others say wedding costs should not be passed on to guests. Critics also point out that wedding gifts, once given to celebrate a marriage and help people support one another through important life events, have somehow turned into a "transaction" in which guests calculate and pay for the cost of their meal.

As the peak fall wedding season gets underway, debate has resurfaced over how much to give as a wedding gift. The Asia Business Daily

"Why should I have to worry about someone else's wedding?" Debate over wedding gifts widens

The debate was sparked by a post titled "But why should guests have to care about the meal cost?" uploaded on October 13 to Blind, an anonymous online community for office workers. The author, identified as A, questioned the idea that wedding gifts should be set according to the venue's meal costs, writing: "These days, the average meal at a wedding venue in Seoul costs 80,000 won, and people say you should give around 150,000 won. I see a lot of posts saying you should give 200,000 won if the wedding is at a five-star hotel."

Wedding gifts originally stem from the tradition of mutual aid, in which relatives, neighbors and acquaintances helped ease the financial burden on families hosting wedding ceremonies. The Asia Business Daily

"The bride and groom are choosing those venues because that's what they want," the author argued. "However much they spend is their own business. Why should guests have to give more just because they're worried about the meal cost?" The point was that choosing an upscale wedding venue or hotel is the couple's decision, and guests should not be expected to cover the resulting costs.

The post drew sharply divided responses over the meaning of wedding gifts and how much is appropriate. Some commenters argued that it is only polite to give an amount that reflects the meal they are served at an expensive venue. They responded, "What if you give 50,000 won but eat a 200,000-won meal?", "If you've been invited to a nice venue, you should contribute something accordingly," and "It seems like people have lost all sense of consideration for others."

Others pushed back just as strongly, saying that wedding gifts are not a way to pay for a meal. "It's a wedding gift, literally. It's not like wedding costs are being split equally among guests," other commenters said. "If the gift has to match the meal cost, should guests look up the venue's prices every time before going to a wedding?" and "Don't people get married at expensive hotels because they can afford them?" One commenter who had held a wedding of their own said, "I've been married too, and I was simply grateful to everyone who came in person, regardless of how much they gave."

A gesture of celebration or the cost of a meal? The changing meaning of wedding gifts

Wedding gifts have traditionally been rooted in a mutual-aid custom in which relatives, neighbors, and acquaintances helped ease the financial burden on families hosting wedding ceremonies. When someone held a wedding or faced another important life event, people around them would contribute money or goods according to their means, and later they would support one another in return. But in recent years, as wedding costs have surged, people have increasingly begun judging the amount of a wedding gift against the cost of the meal. Guests have effectively found themselves worrying less about expressing their congratulations and more about whether their gift will cover the cost of their meal.

One commenter said, "Wedding gifts originally began as a form of mutual aid," adding, "The point is to ease each other's burden, so demanding more because you chose an expensive venue out of personal greed is excessive." Others took the opposite view: "Counting the money isn't mutual aid; it's business," and "If you're going to complain that the meal is expensive, you're better off not attending." Some also offered the practical advice that giving a gift without attending the wedding could help avoid unnecessary conflict.

Wedding venue meals in Seoul cost 80,000 won... Rising wedding costs add to the burden of wedding gifts

The debate is unfolding against a backdrop of steadily rising wedding costs. According to Chamgageok, the Korea Consumer Agency's comprehensive price information portal, the median per-person meal cost at wedding venues in Seoul stood at 80,000 won in August. That was up 3,000 won, or 3.9%, from 77,000 won in the same period last year. In Gyeonggi Province and Incheon, the figure also rose 3.3%, from 60,000 won to 62,000 won. By contrast, the national median meal cost at wedding venues was 60,000 won, unchanged from last year.

At the heart of this debate are steadily rising wedding costs. According to Chamgagyeok, the Korea Consumer Agency's comprehensive price information portal, the median meal cost per guest at wedding venues in Seoul stood at 80,000 won as of August. Yonhap News Agency

As meal costs at wedding venues rise in Seoul and the surrounding metropolitan area, some people are increasingly of the view that even a 100,000-won wedding gift is not enough. However, opinions differ on whether guests' gifts should rise in proportion simply because venue meal costs have gone up. Wedding costs are expenses that the couple chooses and should bear, while guests should decide how much to give based on factors such as their relationship with the couple and their financial circumstances.

Some also argue that, rather than having guests and couples clash over the amount of wedding gifts, attention should first be paid to the wedding industry's high cost structure. One commenter said, "Honestly, aren't the businesses that charge way too much and make excessive profits the problem?" They added, "Personally, I wish venues would just stop serving meals so neither side would have to feel awkward."

Critics say that when meals provided at wedding venues are seen as a way to recoup costs rather than as a gesture of thanks for guests' congratulations, attending a wedding itself becomes a burden. Another commenter expressed dismay, saying, "I don't know how this culture turned into one where guests have to worry about money," and, "Now you worry about the money first instead of going to offer your congratulations."

This content was produced with the assistance of AI translation services.