"Meals are expensive, so give 150,000 won" "Are wedding gifts turning into meal payments?" In the era of 80,000-won wedding meals, guests feel pressured

Wedding venue meal costs in Seoul rise 3.9% in a year
Debate over the appropriate amount for wedding gifts
Concerns that the spirit of celebration and mutual aid is fading

As the peak fall wedding season gets underway, debate has resurfaced over how much to give as a wedding gift. With meal costs at wedding venues in Seoul reaching 80,000 won per guest, some argue that guests should give at least 100,000 to 150,000 won, while others say wedding expenses should not be passed on to guests. Some also point out that wedding gifts, intended to celebrate a marriage and help people support one another through important life events, have somehow turned into a kind of "transaction" in which guests calculate and pay for their meals.

As the peak fall wedding season gets underway, debate has resurfaced over how much to give as a wedding gift. The Asia Business Daily

"Why should I have to worry about the cost of someone else's wedding?" Debate over wedding gifts grows

The debate began with a post titled "But why should wedding guests care about the meal cost?" uploaded to the anonymous workplace community Blind on October 13. The author, identified as A, questioned the idea that wedding gifts should be based on venue meal prices, writing, "These days, the average meal at a wedding venue in Seoul costs 80,000 won, and people say you should give around 150,000 won. I see lots of posts saying you should give 200,000 won if the wedding is at a five-star hotel."

Wedding gifts originally stem from the tradition of mutual aid, in which relatives, neighbors and acquaintances helped ease the financial burden on families hosting wedding ceremonies. The Asia Business Daily

"Isn't that where the bride and groom chose to get married because they wanted to?" A wrote. "However much they spend is their business. Why should guests have to give more just because they are worried about the meal cost?" The point was that choosing an upscale wedding venue or hotel is the couple's decision, and guests should not have to cover the resulting expenses.

The post drew sharply divided reactions over the meaning of wedding gifts and how much is appropriate. Some users argued that, since guests are treated to a meal at an expensive venue, good manners require them to give an amount that reflects that. They responded, "What if you give 50,000 won but eat a meal worth 200,000 won?" "If you've been invited to a nice place, you should contribute something toward the cost," and "It seems like people have forgotten basic human decency."

Others pushed back, saying wedding gifts are not a way to pay for a meal. "It's a congratulatory gift, as the name implies. It's not like we're splitting the wedding costs equally among the guests," they said. "If the gift has to match the meal cost, should guests look up the price of the meal every time before going to a wedding?" and "Isn't the whole reason they chose an expensive hotel that they can afford it?" One user who had held a wedding wrote, "I got married too, and I was simply grateful to everyone who came in person, regardless of how much they gave."

A gesture of congratulations or payment for a meal... How the meaning of wedding gifts has changed

Wedding gifts are rooted in the mutual-aid tradition in which relatives, neighbors and acquaintances helped ease the financial burden on families holding a wedding. When someone faced an important life event, people around them contributed money or goods according to their means, and later they would help one another in turn. But as wedding costs have surged in recent years, people have increasingly started judging the amount of a wedding gift against the cost of the meal. Guests have effectively found themselves worrying less about expressing their congratulations and more about whether their gift will cover the cost of their meal.

One user said, "Wedding gifts originally started as a form of mutual aid," adding, "The idea is to ease each other's burden, so choosing an expensive venue out of personal ambition and then asking for more is excessive." Another view was that "keeping track of the amount of money is business, not mutual aid," and that "if you're going to complain about the meal being expensive, it's better not to attend." Practical advice also followed: giving a gift without attending the wedding could help avoid unnecessary friction.

Wedding venue meals in Seoul cost 80,000 won... Rising wedding expenses add to pressure over wedding gifts

Steadily rising wedding costs lie behind the debate. According to Chamgagyeok, the Korea Consumer Agency's comprehensive price information portal, the median meal cost per guest at wedding venues in Seoul stood at 80,000 won as of August. That was up 3,000 won, or 3.9%, from 77,000 won during the same period last year. In Gyeonggi Province and Incheon, the figure rose 3.3%, from 60,000 won to 62,000 won. By contrast, the median meal cost at wedding venues nationwide remained unchanged from last year at 60,000 won.

At the heart of this debate are steadily rising wedding costs. According to Chamgagyeok, the Korea Consumer Agency's comprehensive price information portal, the median meal cost per guest at wedding venues in Seoul stood at 80,000 won as of August. Yonhap News Agency

As meal costs at wedding venues have risen, particularly in Seoul and the surrounding metropolitan area, some people increasingly feel that even a 100,000-won wedding gift is not enough. Opinions remain divided, however, on whether guests' gifts should rise in proportion simply because venue meal costs have gone up. Wedding expenses are chosen and paid by the couple, while guests should decide for themselves how much to give based on their relationship with the couple and their own financial circumstances.

Some say that rather than having guests and couples argue over the amount of wedding gifts, people should first examine the high cost structure of the wedding industry. One user said, "Honestly, aren't the vendors charging way too much the problem?" and added, "Personally, I wish they would just stop serving meals so neither side has to feel awkward."

Some say that when meals provided at wedding venues are seen not as a gesture of thanks for the guests' congratulations but as a way to recoup costs, attending weddings itself becomes a burden. Another user expressed dismay, saying, "I don't know how this culture turned into one where guests worry about money," and, "People have started worrying about money before they even go to congratulate the couple."

This content was produced with the assistance of AI translation services.