“I Don’t Want to See Mom or Dad”... Family Estrangement Spreading Like a Trend Among Millennials and Gen Z

'Family Estrangement' Spreads in the US...
Changing Perceptions of Family Relationships

Viral Social Media Content, the Rise of 'Estrangement Influencers'

The phenomenon of adult children cutting off contact with their parents, known as "family estrangement," is spreading in the United States.

The media reported that about 10% of Americans are estranged from their parents or children at a certain point in time. If the scope is expanded to close relatives, this figure rises to 25%. Getty Images

1 in 10 Says "I've Cut Off Contact With Parents or Children"... Rising Trend of 'Family Estrangement' in the US

On September 27 (local time), The Wall Street Journal (WSJ) reported that the breakdown of parent-child relationships is becoming a social phenomenon in the United States.

This summer, a conference for "estranged parents" held in Chicago drew over 200 parents. Some attendees came from countries such as Australia, and nearly 250 people watched the event via live online streaming.

Robin Brill (60), who attended the event, has been out of contact with her 28-year-old son for three years. Brill said, "Every story is different, but what children say is always the same," describing statements such as "'Mom is a narcissist,' 'Dad is self-centered,' and 'My problems are caused by my parents.'"

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The media cited research by Cornell University sociologist Karl Pillemer, reporting that about 10% of Americans are estranged from their parents or children at a given point in time. If the scope is expanded to close relatives, this figure rises to 25%.

Some experts compare this phenomenon to the explosive increase in divorces in the 1970s, describing it as a broader social trend. William Doherty, professor emeritus of family social science at the University of Minnesota, said, "A choice that was once taboo is now accepted and even viewed positively, spreading like a trend."

However, some counter that it is not so much an actual rise in family estrangement, but rather a weakening of social stigma over the issue. There are also arguments that distancing oneself from harmful parents can be a necessary healing process for adult children.

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Family Estrangement Content Spreads on Social Media... Changing Approaches in Counseling Also an Influence

Experts cite social networking services (SNS) as a major background factor in the spread of family estrangement. According to market research firm Inpij, in August, more than 138,000 new videos mentioning estrangement from parents or "low contact" appeared on TikTok—an increase of more than tenfold compared to August 2020.

So-called "estrangement influencers" have also emerged, sharing their experiences of cutting off contact with parents. Some of them present their own estranged relationships as credentials for expertise. In response, psychotherapist Mattias Barker pointed out, "A TikTok creator cannot listen to your story, does not know who you are, and cannot judge your personal situation."

The counseling and coaching market has also grown. Paid services targeting both parents and children, such as books, podcasts, support groups, and video counseling, have steadily appeared.

The changing methods of psychological counseling have also been identified as a contributing factor in the spread of family estrangement. For decades, counselors have encouraged families to increase communication and resolve conflicts, but recently, there has been a growing trend to recommend breaking off relationships. Analysts say shifting social attitudes toward family relationships have contributed to the idea that—even among family—one can keep distance depending on the quality of the relationship.

This content was produced with the assistance of AI translation services.