"'That's a Wonderful Watch' Means 'It's Time to Leave': Why Kyoto-Style Communication Evolved as the Ultimate in Indirectness [Sunday Culture]"

Irony and Indirectness Define the Style
Pride in Politics and Culture Blends with Conflict Avoidance
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When it comes to the Korean perception of the Japanese language, people often describe it as "indirect and roundabout," "kind," or "not expressing true feelings." Among these, the ultimate example might be what is called the Kyoto Method. In Japan, many stories circulate about the Kyoto Method, almost like urban legends. But how did this distinctive communication style originate? This week, let’s explore the topic of the "Kyoto Method."

This content is unrelated to the specific article. TASS Yonhap News Agency

First, here are some examples of the Kyoto Method that are often seen on Japanese social networking services (SNS). Saying "That is a wonderful watch you are wearing" to a guest is a way to signal that it’s time to leave, indicating that the host has noticed the time. Telling a neighbor, "I love how lively your daughter’s piano playing is" actually means "It’s too noisy." On the surface, these sound like compliments, but the intended meaning is quite the opposite.

Korean posts appearing when searching for 'Kyoto Method' on YouTube. YouTube.

The most well-known Kyoto Method phrase across Japan is "Would you care for some bubuzuke?" Bubuzuke is the Kyoto dialect word for "ochazuke," a dish consisting of rice with water or tea poured over it. When guests overstay their welcome, offering bubuzuke is a roundabout way of saying, "There is nothing left to serve except rice with water, so please take your leave." Personally, I think I would just cheerfully respond, "Oh, thank you for offering!" However, when I asked people from Kyoto about this bubuzuke story, some protested that "we’ve never said or even heard such a thing." This suggests it is less an actual expression used in daily life and more a stereotype symbolizing the image of Kyoto people.

Still, it’s not entirely a myth that Kyoto is known for its unique indirectness. In fact, there are quite a few books in Japan about the Kyoto Method. For example, if someone responds to a suggestion with, "I’ll think about it" or "Could you give me some time to consider?", it typically doesn’t mean they plan to consider the offer; rather, it is often a polite way of declining. Similarly, after hearing someone’s opinion, saying "That’s an interesting comment" isn’t always a compliment. Sometimes, depending on the situation, it can imply "I’m not quite sure what you’re trying to say, and it’s hard to accept your viewpoint."

There is also a famous anecdote. The renowned Japanese novelist Soseki Natsume, while staying in Kyoto, once invited a teahouse owner to go see some flowers together. She replied, "Eh, ookini." "Ookini" is a dialect expression meaning "thank you." Soseki thought she had accepted his invitation, but on the day, she never showed up. In this case, "thank you" was simply expressing gratitude for the invitation, not acceptance. As this example shows, the same sentence can have a completely different meaning depending on the context in the Kyoto Method. The key is reading between the lines, more so than the words themselves.

The five-story pagoda of Hokanji Temple as seen from the traditional street of Higashiyama in Kyoto, Japan. Rakuten Travel.

So, how did this style of communication come to be? One interpretation is that it was influenced by Kyoto’s historical characteristics. Starting in 794, Kyoto was the political and cultural heart of Japan for over a thousand years, with a strong sense of pride in its accumulated culture. At the same time, Kyoto was a city where countless outsiders, from merchants to powerful officials, regularly passed through. In this context, some say Kyoto people developed a tendency to draw boundaries, using a communication style that only "fellow Kyotoites" would understand intuitively, distinguishing insiders from outsiders.

There is another interpretation: this communication style was not about exclusion but rather about conflict avoidance. In a city teeming with diverse people, maintaining relationships for a long time required avoiding direct confrontation. While speaking one’s mind clearly may enhance understanding, it can also hurt feelings. This, in the long run, can be a detriment to sustaining relationships. That’s why Kyoto’s unique style—letting the other person infer the intent—developed, some say.

Recently, this way of speaking has gained attention as a business skill as well. Hattori Masakazu, an administrative scrivener from Kyoto, has published a book combining the Kyoto Method with negotiation techniques. During negotiations, emotions often run high as terms are adjusted. However, using Kyoto-style indirect communication, it is possible to reach an agreement without damaging relationships.

So perhaps, what once seemed like an urban legend now appears rather different. Rather than trying to win at all costs or embarrass the other party, the Kyoto Method is about maintaining dignity while clearly conveying intentions. If you simply dismiss it as "hypocritical" or "two-faced," you risk missing the complex history and deep social relationships embedded in Kyoto culture.

So, if you ever visit Kyoto and someone tells you, "That’s a nice watch," there’s really no need to rush to leave. A lot of stories about the Kyoto Method floating around the internet are exaggerated and not actually used in real life. Still, if you hear the same thing two or three times, it might not hurt to discreetly check the time.

This content was produced with the assistance of AI translation services.