"They Have a Great Personality"... Why "Dating Down" Is the New Trend Shaking Up Generation Z

Beyond Looks: Changing Relationship Perspectives Among Gen Z

A Reflection of the Complexity and Frustrations of Modern Dating

Among Generation Z, a new dating trend called "dating down," which values personality and emotional connection over appearance, is gaining attention.

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On July 17th (local time), the UK’s Daily Mail highlighted the phenomenon of "dating down," where people choose partners considered less attractive than themselves, and introduced the term "shrekking," which has become a trending neologism on social media.

The term "shrekking" originates from the 2001 animated film "Shrek," in which Princess Fiona falls in love with Shrek, who has an average appearance, resulting in a happy ending. It describes the act of dating someone considered less attractive in the belief that “they will treat me better because they are not good-looking.” If the experience leads to disappointment or emotional hurt, the phrase "Getting Shrekked" is used.

The media outlet cited a situation where a friend shows a photo of a blind date and says, "Their personality is really great." This suggests that Generation Z’s approach to dating, once highly sensitive to appearances and image, is shifting.

Some online commenters have also put forward the so-called "stability" theory, suggesting that relationships may be more stable if one's partner is less attractive than oneself.

On the other hand, Madison Liverworth, a Generation Z TikToker who creates dating content, disagreed with such interpretations. She explained, "This trend reflects an atmosphere where emotional maturity is valued over looks." She further added, "Physical appearance isn’t the only reason someone is attractive. No matter how good-looking someone is, if their personality isn’t pleasant, it’s hard to feel attracted to them."

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Preference for Long-Term, Meaningful Relationships... Seen as Reflecting the Complexity of Modern Dating

Research has also shown that in long-term relationships, factors beyond appearance play a more significant role. Professor Andrew Thomas of Swansea University in the UK noted, "In long-term relationships, qualities such as a sense of humor, intelligence, and personality become much more important." However, he explained, "The factors a person values can differ depending on the goal of the relationship. In short-term encounters, there is a tendency to consider nonphysical factors relatively less important."

The Daily Mail analyzed that Generation Z’s preference for long-term, meaningful relationships is closely linked to the dating down phenomenon. Although the term "dating down" still carries a nuance of looking down on one’s partner, it actually reflects a shift in what is considered important in relationships.

Amy Chan, a dating coach and author of "Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart," emphasized, "The emergence of the word shrekking itself illustrates the complexity and frustration of modern dating." She continued, "Personality, values, and emotional maturity should be the criteria, not appearance." She also added, "Physical looks are just one element in dating and should never become some sort of bargaining chip for better treatment."

This content was produced with the assistance of AI translation services.